we have officially mastered the walk of shame
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
