in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
