I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
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