After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
