cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Randomize
