in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
