apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
