If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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