She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
