At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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