i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Randomize
