I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
