I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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