I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I didn't shave. On purpose
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
