A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
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