On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
