She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Randomize
