This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
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