if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
