i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
