sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Randomize
