We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
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