How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
