Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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