Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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