Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
That accounts for only three of the penises
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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