And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Mom said you looked used
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
