I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
