my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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