Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
