Dual....:-)
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
