He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
So vagazzling was a success
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
