after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
