I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
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