I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
