operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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