Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Can't talk, ducks in the car
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
