Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
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We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I am one with the molecules
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
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