I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
