Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
