So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
