roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
