You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
