mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
