Where is the hickey?
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Randomize
