Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
