Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize