This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Randomize
