moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
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