he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
be right there i have to get my cape
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
