a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
