well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
