4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Randomize
