how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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