I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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