very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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