I just made out with a guy for $7.
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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