I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
