careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
