at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Randomize