I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
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