i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Randomize
