No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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