I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
