finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
