I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
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I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
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Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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