I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize