its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
