I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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