I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
