theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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